air supply is moving

i've been working on some updates and i'm getting frustrated with blogger so air supply is off to wordpress.

http://quikflik.wordpress.com

Captains Fantastic

i was just reading an article on the Herald site about how injured Richie McCaw flew with the airforce and theres a lovely little photo of his smiling face.
i will regularly mention that hes the man i am going to marry - and yes, this girl will be holding out hope til the day she dies.

but hang on one moment!
Richie is not the first All Black Captain that i wouldnt kick out of bed for farting. most of the other captains are hotties in their own right. Its not just the jersey!

and just further to all that ...i'm sure most of you have received the Chuck Norris emails. Well I received this Richie McCaw version from a friend today. I passed it round the office and most found it pretty funny so I thought I'd share it with those of you who haven't been forwarded it yet.

1. When Richie McCaw goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets
Richie McCaw'ed.

2. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet
for Richie McCaw.

3. Richie McCaw counted to infinity - twice.

4. Richie McCaw invented every colour. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

5. When Richie McCaw does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

6. Richie McCaw hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

7. Richie McCaw gave Mona Lisa that smile.

8. Richie McCaw can slam a revolving door.

9. Some kids piss their name in the snow. Richie McCaw can piss his name into concrete.

10. Richie McCaw once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

11. Richie McCaw's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Richie McCaw.

12. Richie McCaw can speak Braille.

13. Richie McCaw's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

14. Superman owns a pair of Richie McCaw pyjamas.

15. Richie McCaw owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1993 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

16. Richie McCaw sleeps with a night light. Not because Richie McCaw is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Richie McCaw.

17. Richie McCaw doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

18. Once a cobra bit Richie McCaw's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

19. Richie McCaw divides by zero.

20. Richie McCaw is always on top during s*x because Richie McCaw never f***s up.

21. When Richie McCaw exercises, the machine gets stronger.

22. Richie McCaw doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

23. Richie McCaw sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled rugby ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Richie spear-tackled the devil and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should
have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

24. Richie McCaw can kill two stones with one bird.

25. Richie McCaw once had an erection while lying face down. He struck oil.

26. Richie McCaw once devoured a whole wheel-barrow full of clay to prove to a friend that the expression "Sh***ing bricks" wasn't just a figure of speech.

27. The only time Richie McCaw was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

theres a few more really funny comments on the Rugby Roundtable

the real kiwi test?

this has got to be one of the funniest and most addictive things i have done all ... day.

the automobile driving manual says that the average drivers reaction time is .75 seconds or 1 car length for every 16kmph. test your average reaction time;
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/sheep/reaction_version5.swf

oliver driver and friend in a scene from kiwi horror film 'black sheep'

Farmer Brown was so proud of his shiny new tractor

my mate boogie. farmer brown at heart alright. at mystery creek field days near hamilton.

hanging out for batman

found this awesome poster today for the Dark Knight. cant wait!!

religion

there are nearly half a million christians rocking it in sydney at the moment. oh ... and the Pope is there too.

who wants to be a dumbass

insults for today

today is a good day to celebrate insults, especially ones with a sneaky little profanity.

i've got that kind of work on at the moment where you want to bang your head against the desk at odd moments through out the day. luckily, i have an escape in that i can work from home. in my 'jamas if needs be. i'm not complaining about the work - in fact i am really enjoying it. but part of the day is spent juggling tasks and calls and different projects and following process and on and on ...... the paperwork only gets done towards the end of the day and into the evening.
of course the irritation with persons and things could be due to the excessively strong espressos i have during the day. is probably also the reason that it takes me ages to get to sleep at the moment.
i think this post could be sponsored by fixd cafe. in a good way. fresh beans! weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

.. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?
.. Right now I'm sitting here looking at you trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
.. I'm blonde, whats your excuse?
.. Damn not you again.......
.. If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.
.. He would be out of his depth in a puddle.
.. I'm not mean ... you're just a sissy.
.. How about a game of hide and go fuck yourself?

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

CONGRATULATIONS Ewi and Cat!!!

bloody hell! tis the season to get married ... well to get engaged at least.
this post is a little overdue but i have been a little swamped.

so here is a big congratulations to my little brother Iain and his wife to be Caterina!!

ENGAGEMENT CONGRATULATIONS AND HUGS!!
this event is definitely worthy of capital letters! and mad lots of exclaimation marks!

their engagement party was held in london in days just gone past and mom and i are now planning our trip to the UK for the wedding in august next year.

bad Apple

am i the only one who doesnt give a shit about the iPhone and who couldnt care less how much Vodafone New Zealand is selling its data plans for? the link goes to the Herald blog site regarding opinions on the pricing. for gods sake .. if you dont like it - dont buy it!!

seriously ... standing in line for more than 24 hours in the middle of winter outside a store??
http://gizmodo.com/5022869/this-may-be-the-first-man-on-the-planet-to-get-an-iphone-3g

this ASSHOLE needs the bash

tony veitch. 'alleged' woman basher.

prick should lose his job. hear that TVNZ!
clint brown paid the price for a punch in the nose - tony veitch deserves that and more for kicking a woman in the back and into a wheelchair for months. and in the head too apparently!

i now hear that he has resigned - or stepped down temporarily. someone should step ON him and permanently!

edit :. 09/07/2008
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/1/story.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10520758
he admitted it. he apologised for it. good for him.

Cozzie Poker Tour - Tour 1

cossies poker tour was a total success and a bloody good way to spend monday nights during winter.

each week, the venue would rotate between the players and the host was to provide dinner and beers (or red wine for me).

our patron of poker - mr cozzie

last night was the final round - Round 10 - and it was held at the grumbles house.
i provided the dinner, as my house is wayyyy too small for all that poker testosterone, and away we went.

a spectacular dinner - by me!

aslan and gavin (grumble) - number 2 and number 1 for round 10

final results for Tour One :

1. Cozzie (24 points)
2. Goldfish (34 points)
3. Barron (36 points)
4. Grumble (37 points)
5. River Phoenix (38 points)
6. Scum (43 points)
7. Tara (47 points)
8. Aslan (51 points)
9. Russell (52 points)

10. Dazza (63 points)

round two invitations - courtesy of the extremely busy when hes working from home in his underpants, mr grumble campbell.

dive! dive! dive!

i started my divemaster course today.

i was planning on taking the rest of january off when nell and i got back from south america - but certain property purposes whilst i was away meant i had to get my unemployed ass into employment as soon as possible.
leigh and i were going to spend a month up in tutukaka doing the course full time when andrew and anna were working there, but now that they are back down in auckland and working at Global Dive (westhaven marina), squidleigh and i are going to do the course now, together and with them. woooooo! plan the dive and dive the plan?? something like that.
squidleigh got his dive name through a very unfortunate incident on our advanced open water course. i think its a whole nother blog entirely. in fact, just about everyone we know has dive names.

advanced open water dive course, poor knights, december 2006
squidleigh on the left, me (chichi) on the beanbag and anna (sensei) our instructor on the right

january would have been a much better time to do it - considering new zealand is right in the middle of the icy grip of winter. luckily enough for me, the first round is an open water course being held in the heated olympic pool in newmarket.
and i want to give the big ups to mr cossie who managed to collect my dive computer after it had its battery replaced (nearly three months ago). luckily he works near the shop - cos i am too unorganised to do it myself!
so here we go .... PADI Divemaster! the next button on the list.

PADI Divemaster Course Details

Your adventure into the professional levels of recreational diving begins with the PADI Divemaster program. Working closely with a PADI Instructor, in this program you expand your dive knowledge and hone your skills to the professional level. PADI Divemaster training develops your leadership abilities, qualifying you to supervise dive activities and assist instructors with student divers.

During the PADI Divemaster program, you learn dive leadership skills through both classroom and independent study. You complete water skills and stamina exercises, as well as training exercises that stretch your ability to organize and solve problems. You put this knowledge into action through an internship or series of practical training exercises.

• Knowledge Development: 12 topics ranging from dive theory to assisting student divers in training
• Prerequisites: PADI Advanced Open Water Diver (or qualifying certification from another training organization), PADI Rescue Diver (or qualifying certification from another training organization), 20 logged dives, 18 years old.
• Minimum Number of Logged Dives: 60 for certification as PADI Divemaster

good ol' times

todays post comes courtesy of jontie (our womble).
these are from a night that we had at the kingslander, over 2 years ago.
a point to note - cossie still looks the same when hes pissed.

its cheaper to be fat and die young

for all our talk of improving our health and lifestyle, there doesnt seem to be a lot of putting the money where the mouth is. or is it that we just put our money into our mouths?

i was in the supermarket last night after going to the gym. i was looking for some fruit for the week, some meat to make a stew for dinners and a nice piece of steak to have with salad for dinner that night. apples - over $5.00 per kilo! tomatoes - over $5.00 per kilo! lamb - over $18.00 per kilo! i just about died.
and jontie, who has just gotten home from seeing his parents in australia, was so astounded at the price of fresh fruit, vegetables and meat, took a pxt and sent it to his dad. i could have gone to mcdonalds for all my meals that week and paid less than one trip to the supermarket (possibly as i dont buy bread, cheese and milk which have risen in price at even more astronomical rates).

i believe that we should be rewarded for eating healthy food, working out and taking supplements. instead it appears we are penalised by exhorbitant prices for food. surely the idea that other countries can remove the goods and services tax on fresh foods means new zealand can investigate that further? i have read commentary that suggests that a flat low tax rate hinders tax avoidance - but with only a small tax cut in sight and taxes on petrol set to increase, surely enough is enough. why not consider using gst as a luxury tax?
the government doesnt want to regulate advertising for junk food in childrens viewing times ( i dont know why) but it should be encouraging adults to eat healthier and exercise more and therefore set a good example. changing advertising rules isnt going to help but there is more than one way to trap a kiwi, and the wallet is a good start.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/topic/story.cfm?c_id=206&objectid=10506604&pnum=0

Prime Minister Helen Clark has said it is unlikely GST on food will be removed, despite growing support for the tax's abolition as consumers struggle to cope with rising prices.
The cost of filling the average supermarket trolley has jumped by more than a quarter in the past year, as the effect of international food shortages hits New Zealand.
A Weekend Herald comparison showed butter, cheese and some varieties of bread had more than doubled in price. Most meat, vegetables and fish were also much more expensive.
But Helen Clark this morning told Newstalk ZB it was unlikely the Government would make any changes to GST.
"GST has been in place since the mid-1980s and that was when schemes like family support, which has now become the much bigger and more significant Working for Families, began," she said.
"Obviously there will be some tax relief announced in the budget and I think it's going to be very, very timely for families."
A petition urging abolition of GST on food is gathering support outside Auckland supermarkets.

is it possible to have a discount offered on our healthcare as we take responsibilities for our heart and lungs and liver? i appreciate that my health care insurer is a private company - but i still pay my premiums as well as my gym membership which in turn keeps my claim rate down. actually at nil.
in australia it was estimated that if each person lost 1 kilogram of body weight, they could save approximately 30% of their healthcare budget. think what that would do for new zealand - for our education, transport, world cup stadiums!!
and dont even get me started on supplements ... over 50% increase in the last 12 months.

its so much cheaper for me to be fat, eat unhealthy food, take no supplements and get the goverment to subsidise my mobility scooter to haul my lard ass around. besides, i will probably die younger too.

my ears are dead but i am still smiling

thanks to anton - heres a video of my mkIII golf gti on the dyno yesterday

dirty, sexy, happy

in celebration of my golf gti exceeding my expectations at eurosport dyno day today ... here is a classic banned volkswagen commerical

potty mouth

i have a potty mouth.
i have a problem with profanity.

i now have a problem with profanity, sharks, tanks, kittens and dogs.

running with scissors

i was asked a really interesting question yesterday - could i think of three reasons that aoldescents were committing more and more 'adult crimes". i can definitely think of three and they all focus around what i perceive as the difference between growing up now and when i was an adolescent ...

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We brushed our teeth with toothpaste from lead tubes.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a ute on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate pikelets, white bread and real butter and drank Mello Yello made with sugar, but we weren’t overweight because, WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms……. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

CONGRATULATIONS sarah and andy!

my absolute lovelies are engaged since the evening of saturday 12 may.

i got a call while i was in the supermarket buying wine, so i bought a little bit more just to celebrate. i am super super super stoked for them and cant wait to maid of honour at the wedding in 2-3 years (although i would put money on it being sooner)
however, i will not wear pink, lilac or any other pastel colour! but i will get drunk and make fabulous speeches.

now i have lots of maidy duties to look forward to - including, helping the bride choose her dress, helping the bride consume vast quantities of champagne, presenting the bride with her wedding cutout scrap book, slapping the bride when she turns into a monster.

love you darlings!

mood : super stoked and slightly tiddly